It seems like just yesterday that your daughter was playing with her Barbies and dolls. Today, she has braces, makes TikToks on her smartphone, wants you to drop her off two kilometers from her house, and last night you overheard her talking about the hottest boy in school with her friend. You're now (slightly ;)) dreading the arrival of her period and the time to talk about it.
Talking to your daughter about her period can be awkward at first. Getting comfortable with your own thoughts and feelings is one of the hardest hurdles to overcome before having the talk. In any case, it may be easier or more difficult from one household to the next.
Here are some tips to help you approach the subject of menstruation without taboos:
1. Choose the place and time
Invite your daughter to a private place where she will feel safe to discuss it. As you can see, the idea is not to do it between conversations or while you are cleaning. Grab a cup of coffee and go to the park, a restaurant or have a picnic in the garden.
The moment is also important. Take advantage of an opportunity when the atmosphere is positive, everyone in a good mood. The ideal would be to take advantage of it when it opens up to you in order to be in listening and kindness as a priority. Also share your experience concerning the first time you had yours.
By going the extra mile to find the right time and space, you'll make her feel special and show her how much you care and want to help her during this exciting and somewhat confusing time.
2. Explain to your daughter how her body works
Most of the prejudices and false beliefs about periods are the consequences of the lack of information given to young girls about how their bodies work. Some girls are not even aware that they will have their periods. They neglect its existence. Parents therefore have an important role to play, they must inform their daughter about:
How the cycle works
Teach your daughter that her periods are normal, healthy, and do not harm her. Periods are a sign that her body is functioning properly and that we are transitioning from a girl's body to a woman's body. Explain to her that her periods are her body's way of preparing to have a baby...one day.
Depending on your daughter's age, showing her a diagram of where her ovaries, uterus and vagina are located may also help. This will give her a clearer idea of how periods work.
At the duration of the cycle
Here is some technical information that we believe is essential to convey:
- The menstrual cycle has an average length of 28 days, but can occur every 21 to 35 days.
- Menstruation usually lasts 3 to 7 days.
- Blood flow is greatest in the first few days and decreases towards the end.
- At first, your daughter may not have her period every month, and that's normal. It may take a few months for her menstrual cycle to stabilize.
- The first period occurs on average at the age of 12. But it can vary from 8 to 15 years.
- And a little fun fact to lighten the mood: apparently girls usually get their periods between 6 and 12 months after their mother's.
3. Talk about the different protections that exist
The best gift we can give our daughter is the opportunity to make an informed choice. To know all the options available to her and to be informed! I myself only discovered menstrual panties very late, if only I had known about them earlier! There is no "bad" protection, the goal is for her to choose the one that suits her. Here are the protections that exist at the time we speak
Menstrual panties
Reusable sanitary towels
The menstrual cup
The practice of instinctive flow
Disposable sanitary napkins
The stamps
Biodegradable towels and tampons
Teach her when to use one versus the other. You can also help her build an “emergency stash” that she can carry with her so she feels more prepared when her period arrives. Encourage her to keep a journal or download an app to help her learn to track her menstrual cycle and listen to her body.
Menstrual panties are, in our opinion, the gentlest and safest way to get your first period. Your daughter will be able to have peace of mind throughout the day while at school and will not have to deal with any changes, discomfort or odor.
In many cultures, parents would give a gift on the occasion of her first period, to celebrate her joyful passage into the world of women. Our Teen Kit could be one of them.
Finally, one last piece of advice to close this article. Shame, myths and prejudices set in the moment we make periods a "taboo" issue. Let's talk about them naturally, simply, as they are. Yes! It's not always fun to have your period, but we can make them an ally rather than an enemy.
Whatever happens and whenever you do it, good luck with your "discussion".
NB: Talking about menstruation with your daughter by offering her our kits for teenagers could greatly help you. You will discover them here.
